I had a clear intention at the start of the year.
If anyone asked me what I was up to, I said “I’m training practitioners in Energy Editing in March, and then after that I’m going to write my book before the next training in June.”
And that’s exactly what I did.
And it was all hunky-dory. The first training was magic, and the book got written. The June training was filling up rapidly.
I felt restless. Worried about everything, satisfied by nothing.
Logically, feeling crappy didn’t make sense, which made me feel worse.
Muscle testing revealed: “Self-esteem is oscillating between my old level of value and my new level of value.” (Apparently my subconscious uses words like ‘oscillating’, it’s very Colin Firth.)
I did some energy work to sort it out, including some fears around being depended on by a large number of people, some stress around how much time I have available, and some cracking limiting beliefs, including: “If I were wealthy I’d be unable to handle the expectations of others.”
With that sorted, I was amazed a few days later that I still felt like a bag of pants.
I was beginning to annoy myself.
Did you know you can tell a lot about your energy from the way that traffic behaves around you when you drive your car?
Bit weird if you’re new to this sort of thing, but true.
I won’t go into the physics of why this happens, that’s another blog post, but essentially, the energy around you is a reflection of your energy.
Usually when I’m driving, it’s happy days. Fairly clear roads, tunes on, a healthy mutual respect for my fellow road-users.
If it’s any other way, I know that something’s going on.
So when I drove a 20-mile round-trip, in our quiet countryside, and kept seeing police cars everywhere, it did briefly cross my mind that it was a warning of some sort. When people started stepping into the road in front of me without even looking to check the traffic, I got the memo.
THE ROAD AHEAD IS BLOCKED.
Very clever Universe, if perhaps a little bit fecking dangerous.
I got home, straight to my desk, and started muscle testing.
‘What road and what is blocking it?’
Answer: The road to my big goal – buying a big house – is blocked because I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t believe it’s possible because I don’t know what I’m going to do next in the business, at a level that will enable me to buy that dream house.
Firstly, as a lover of the Law of Attraction, I should know WAY better than to be thinking about ‘how’ something will happen. It’s not up to me,
However, in my own business and life, I’m a meddler. I fiddle about. I tinker and investigate, and constantly seek improvement. Often that’s a good thing.
And then the penny dropped.
I don’t like not knowing what I’m going to do next.
It makes me uncomfortable, lethargic, and quite frankly, a bit miserable.
So the last few weeks have been an interesting little excursion for me and my funny little human self, to a place called “NOT KNOWING.”
At this point in writing this blog post, I stopped to go to a local pub for ginger beer and ice cream (can anyone say Enid Blyton) with the hubster, kids, and my parents, to celebrate my book, Wealthology, becoming a UK and US bestseller.
As we were leaving to come home, my Dad asked: “So what’s next?”
I replied: “I don’t know.”
His reaction said it all.
“You don’t know! You don’t know. You don’t know? Ooh. That’s different.”
“I know it’s weird isn’t it Dad? I’m actually just writing a blog about it, called ‘what to do when you don’t know what to do next.”
“Are you really? Well how about that. Not knowing.”
My mum nudged him: “Give her a chance, she’s just published a book. So much pressure!”
Dad raised his eyebrows: “I’m not pressuring her. She just always has a plan. We tend to always have a plan.”
“He’s right mum. He’s not pressuring me. He’s just a perfect demonstration of why I’m programmed the way I am. My brain is always on at me to have a plan, and move to the next thing, and this time I don’t know what I want to do.”
Dad sat quietly for a few minutes whilst we rounded up the kids.
Then, with typical, understated wisdom, he said: “It’s about not knowing. The next thing – it’s to not know, isn’t it?”
“Yes! That’s what I’ve been doing, figuring out how to ‘not know’ without it doing my head in completely.”
“Take more time off, go with the flow, see what happens?”
“Yes, and finding the balance between having intentions, and taking action, and knowing when to let go. Like people have asked me, ‘how are you celebrating the book launch?’ and I’m thinking, ‘Celebrating on launch day? I’m not celebrating, I’m thinking about finishing the day knowing that I did my absolute best to make the launch a success.’ Even today, coming here is a bit like something I just needed to tick off a list: Celebration – Check. I feel like I need to plan a full celebration when things settle down a bit.”
We both laughed. Enid Blyton and irony. Such a riot, old chum!
Here I am, back at my desk, and I want to share with you what I’ve learnt that makes not knowing much easier, if you’re also a Natural Born Planner.
- Accept that you don’t know what to do.
Resistance to not knowing creates as much stress as not knowing. Find some peace around the idea that you don’t currently have a plan. This might be obvious to you, but for me personally, if I don’t have a plan, my instinct is to say ‘Right lads, we’ll solve this lack-of-plan-problem by coming up with a plan right now.’
That’s how I’d spent the previous few days before I realised I’d got a (hopefully return) ticket to Notknowingsville. Brainstorming, pushing, forcing, researching, determined to decide what I wanted to do next. But nothing felt right, nothing aligned, nothing clicked.
In true Serenity prayer style, it was time to ‘accept the things that I cannot change’. Confession: I’d always thought that part was a lovely bit of wisdom, very useful for other people, and that I was totally brilliant at it. HA! I’d just never really hit upon something I couldn’t solve with a bit of planning and execution, in my business before.
It took me a fair amount of energy work to release my addiction to knowing what’s next, and I’m still peeling back layers on my love of hustle and grind. (Is that a dance move?)
Here are some fears and limiting beliefs to look out for, that might be messing with you, like they were with me:
Fear of failing
Fear of not trying hard enough
Fear of being accused of not working hard. (Because apparently it’s 1849.)
Fear of not doing my best for my family
If I don’t have a plan it will all go to shit. (Yep, that’s a limiting belief.)
When I’m not pushing I’m being lazy
If I don’t hustle I won’t succeed
I should know what I want to do
With the resistance and stress beginning to reduce, the inner battle cooled down and I stopped annoying myself. I still had no idea what to do next, so I tried all sorts of things. What, you didn’t think I was just going to just find peace and stop there did you?
- Separate your Big-Big Goal from your business
If you’ve established that you don’t know what to do next in your business, then what would you like to achieve in your personal life? How would you like to feel?
There is so much advice about goal setting, and personally I think it’s down to your own preference. I think it’s great to have a Big-Big goal, and I also think it can be very stressful to link it to a particular component of your business, and as entrepreneurs it’s natural to do that.
It looks like this:
I want to own a big house. I want to buy that big house now. It’s going to cost $1,000,000. I must make that money in my business.
And off I go, down the rabbit hole, pushing for ideas and stressing out because I can’t see where that money will be created, and what if my family think I hate them because I haven’t worked hard enough to buy a big family home.
How about this instead:
I want to own a big house. I have no idea how that’s going to happen. I’m excited to see how it does happen. In the business right now, I’m doing everything that feels aligned, to the best of my ability, and I’m excited to see what happens.
Feel the difference?
There’s so much relief in separating your Big-Big Goal from your immediate actions. Check in with yourself and see what extra pressure you’ve added to your business, and how it’s really affecting your mindset.
- Sit quietly.
If you don’t call it meditation, it’s less likely to trigger your inner Busy Monkey. Essentially, just sit the hell down, use ear plugs or white noise if you’re distracted by noise, close your eyes, and just stop.
Stop talking, stop moving, stop looking at stuff.
If you haven’t done this before you might feel like you want to axe someone’s head off for the first few minutes. Push through!
No time to sit quietly?
Bollocks, we’ve all got 15 minutes a couple of times a week.
It’s not a time issue, it’s a resistance-to-sitting-alone-with-no-distractions issue.
Why are we sitting quietly, you ask?
Well guess what, when we cease all activity, the Mind Monkeys go MENTAL, and then, just when you accept that they won’t shut up, they tire themselves out. The second that happens, you’re no longer being driven by that funny little human brain. The real ‘you’ gets to take over.
Yeah, you’re not a brain. You’re a spark of fricking light that broke off the sun and went through a billion evolutions, before deciding to give this life a go, and zipping yourself into the human suit you’re currently wearing.
And when you get really quiet, and take all the stimuli and distractions away from the human suit, the spark of light takes over.
Then guess what?
You’ve got a billion-year-old ray of wisdom in charge.
It’s basically like having Morgan Freeman making all the decisions.
Here’s an example of the difference between me and my Inner Morgan Freeman making decisions.
Me: “What to do, what to do? Must have a plan. I know, I’d like to make $1,000,000 and the way I think I can do that is to…”
(Confession: I muscle tested the energy of that particular idea, and it was ‘arrogant’. HA! I’ve never been insulted by the Universe before. It was followed up with this explanation: ‘It’s lacking my essence and what my heart wants to do next.’ Which was true.)
Morgan: “It’s lovely and peaceful in here. I feel lovely and calm. It’s great that $1,000,000 is on its way. What would be the very best thing that I could do? The most inspired, creative fun thing. I know, I’ll…”
Morgan’s advice is always a winner. Having been around a billion years, he knows stuff.
I jokingly call my Dad the Guru. Did you notice I mentioned that he sat quietly before speaking? He does that a lot. He’s one very chilled out, wise, funny dude, who gives brilliant advice, and can find a solution for anything. Him and Morgan? Best mates.
- Baby Steps
These are the small, easy actions that are right in front of you. Now, this doesn’t mean those evasive actions like cleaning the back of cupboards, or any of those things that we do, when we don’t want to do the things we need to do.
I think there are two main types of baby steps, and I’ll tell you the difference, using me as an example – knowing I want a house, whilst not knowing what I want to do next in my business…
- Steps towards the Big-Big goal – looking at houses online, viewing property, talking to the hubster about what we’d like.
- Steps that relate to current commitments – marketing the book, preparing for the training in June, rebranding my website.
And here’s the secret sauce.
The steps that relate to the Big-Big goal are done with joy and excitement, not taken too seriously, and are a gift to yourself.
The steps that relate to current commitments are done with joy and excitement, taken very seriously, and are about using your gifts to serve others to the very best of your ability.
If you apply these principles to your baby steps, you’ll be amazed at what unfolds, because they create two different types of energy that attracts success and opportunity.
You can walk a surprisingly enormous distance using teeny-tiny, wobbly baby steps, and that’s not all – baby steps always lead to your end goal, even when you can’t see the next ‘via’ point.
- Take a gestation vacation
Just stop needing to know what you don’t know, and give yourself a week or two of not thinking about it. Give yourself official permission to stop.
During this time, write down every idea you have. Every inspiration, business idea, day dream, aspiration, blog post idea, person to contact, place you’d like to go, thing you’d like to learn. Just write them down.
You’ll start to see how many more options are available to you than you realise, and all sorts of ideas will download.
This is one holiday that will be much more beneficial if you spend a lot of it hanging out with Morgan Freeman. This blog post was one of his ideas, when we were sitting by the fire one evening a couple of weeks ago.
- Switch off social media
Seeing what everyone else is doing when you’re not doing anything can be really stressful.
Think of yourself as pregnant with an idea. You have to start nurturing your baby way before it’s born. Peace, calm, wholesome connection, good food, lots of water and lots more kindness. Not hours spent scrolling your phone screen like a rat hitting a button and hoping for a shot of social media dopamine.
Extending your energy into the vacuum of ‘what everyone else says they’re doing’ is not good for the idea-baby.
There are too many tiny jolts to the system in between the hits of dopamine. Take Facebook off your phone, limit the time you spend at your laptop, and believe me when I say that you really won’t miss out on anything that important. If the world breaks, someone will call you.
- Have fun connecting with other people
Arrange to see your funniest friends as soon as possible. Hang out with a toddler who just started forming sentences. Anything that makes you laugh. Spend time with people you love, put the focus on them, and enjoy yourself.
This is perhaps the easiest one to do… and also the hardest. I am notorious for spending too many hours at my desk, withdrawing when I’m busy, and not knowing when to stop working. I also know without doubt that connection and laughter have a very particular energy, which attracts only good things, and sparks the most unexpected, marvelous surprises.
Earlier this year, I spent a remarkable amount of time (for introvert me) connecting with people on Skype when I usually would have been working. I remember thinking at the time, ‘This is weird, I really like it, even though it doesn’t really seem to have a purpose, I guess it’s ok that I’m not really working’. And guess what? I can’t tell you how many brilliant conversations, ideas, friendships, and support have resulted from those calls.
- If too much choice is a problem
Feel like you don’t know what to do because there are so many options? If you’ve tried getting quiet, and you’ve checked in for resistance and cleared any fears that might be blocking you, and you still don’t want to move forward, then it might be that none of the choices you can currently see are the right ones.
Write down your options. Let’s call them A,B,C. Now do you love any of those options? If so, then fear is the only thing stopping you, and you really do know what to do. If not, then here’s the good news. There’s an option D. You just don’t know what it is yet.
And here’s what we know about option D: It can be whatever you want it to be.
What’s your ideal option? What does it look like, feel like, sound like? Who is there with you? When you think about your ideal option, it’s likely that the mind monkeys start kicking in with reasons why it isn’t possible. That’s not the same as not knowing. Open your mind to there being a perfect solution that feels completely aligned, that you’re just not aware of yet.
And one final secret for you – Option D shows up a lot faster when you practice the first six steps I shared.
There you have it.
My guide to what to do when you don’t know what to do next.
Accept that you don’t know.
Separate your Big-Big goal from your business.
Take baby steps.
Take a Gestation Vacation.
Switch off social media.
Remember there’s always an option D.
These are the things I’ve been up to for the last few weeks, and although I still don’t know what I want to do next, I’m totally ok with that. I’m showing up, and I trust that the Big U has a plan, even if I don’t.
What are you going to do right now?
Let me know!
The Energy Editor
PS – If you like my writing, you’ll probably like my book – it’s free right now on Amazon – find it here.
When I was a kid, my parents re-decorated our bathroom.
On the wall they hung a photo.
It was a photo of a grey sea, with a whale’s tail lifting out of the water.
Underneath, it said:
“He roams the sea in freedom, with no enemy – save man.”
It touched my heart every time I looked at it.
And I thought: “One day I will see that for myself.”
Over the years I’ve thought about it from time to time.
One day I will see whales in the wild.
Whenever the bucket-list question comes up –
Whale-watching is on mine.
When we’ve been planning holidays before, it seemed out of reach.
Either a long way to go to focus on something that might not happen.
Or that the weather would be cold, and as a Brit I chase the sun whenever I can.
This summer we had another bucket-list holiday planned.
The whole family.
Highway 1, up the coast, San Diego to San Francisco.
As it came nearer it seemed too good to be true.
I was almost afraid to think about it in case I jinxed it and made it not happen.
We started planning what we’d do.
As I looked at the places along the route, I found Monterey.
Home of an amazing Aquarium.
But also, home of whale-watching expeditions.
I did some research.
I wanted a wild experience, not a Sea-Life-esque one.
Two years a
I found myself in a constant state of almost-anxiety.
Not anxiety, but something.
A shallowness of breath, not feeling completely relaxed.
Compulsively checking my phone to see if anything needed my attention.
Feeling relieved if there was nothing to deal with.
I did some muscle testing and found that the root cause was ‘Fear of other people being annoyed with me.’
And this fear, this trigger, was resulting in me being constantly on the alert.
Because if someone had a problem that needed my attention and I failed to respond quickly, they might be annoyed, and to me, that was terrifying.
As I did a quick Energy Edit to release my body’s stress response to the trigger, and break the pattern, I realised two things:
I’m not superwoman.
I take my work very seriously but as important as my clients and customers are, it’s not life or death.
I’m not an emergency room doctor.
I don’t have to be on-call 24 hours a day because people are not dying if I don’t check my email.
Also, I’m not superwoman.
Not the caped version saving lives (see above).
And not the modern-day-mythical-creature who’s ‘having it all’.
It’s impossible to live a fulfilled life, love your friends and family, have fun, enjoy your work AND be a slave to your inbox with your phone glued to your hand.
As much as we don’t want to admit it, it’s true.
Those little electronic devices are meant to be our servants, handy tools, not the master of how we spend every waking minute.
I gave myself permission right then to step away from the emails.
As the fear of ‘someone being annoyed with me’ released, I realised it was time to woman-up and take some action.
- I deleted my email account from my phone.
I knew if I had to sit at my laptop to answer emails, I’d check them far less often.
I already have notifications for everything switched off.
I don’t want pings, bings, badges and flags interrupting my day.
But that didn’t stop me hitting ‘Inbox’ to make it check for new emails way too often.
Email access on my phone had to go.
This would also eliminate two other silly things I was doing:
Tapping out replies on that tiny keyboard when I could do it much faster on the laptop.
Or, worse, reading emails twice – once on the phone and again later, because of course I could reply much faster on the laptop…
It wasn’t just the emails that were keeping me attached to the phone.
I am an avid facebook user.
I love The Book (as my Dad calls it).
But it’s addictive.
It’s an energy-suck, an attention vampire and a time-eating vortex.
I’d tried deleting the facebook app from my phone before, but always just ended up downloading it again 24 hours later.
This time I vowed just to stop keeping my phone by my side.
Maybe you do it too, carry your phone from room to room at home?
What the hell is that about?
It had to stop.
I had to start being conscious of when I was picking it up and not just letting it be something I do for vague entertainment.
I put my phone in a drawer in the hallway so it was out of sight until I set aside time to actually use it.
I knew that my hands and brain were going to get twitchy for something to do.
Like any good habit the quiet moments are when it’s hard to break.
Between tasks, waiting for the kids, or making a hot drink, I would usually pick up my phone and start scrolling.
I’d love to tell you that I made the switch from using the phone to meditating in silence and that I now have the zen of a Buddhist monk.
Or that I started doing push-ups and I now have a six-pack.
But I already resist both of those, so they didn’t quite appeal enough to get me to step away from the plastic rectangle.
This is what I did:
2. Instead of my phone I carry a small notebook.
(Fellow stationary lovers, for you: Hardcover, elastic snap to keep it closed, quality paper, A6.)
And a pen.
(Uni-ball, turquoise ink.)
I carry them everywhere.
Instead of passively consuming; I’m actively creating.
Some of what I write down is complete bollocks.
Occasionally I make ugly doodles.
But a lot of the time this happens:
I make notes for things that will help me and other people.
I journal and process ‘stuff’ that I’m working through.
I get my ideas out of my head and free up brain space.
It’s so simple.
It’s nice for my kids see me writing with a pen instead of typing on a screen.
(I know, because they told me, like this:
“I like it that you’re not on your phone all the time mum.”
Yeah, not exactly a Proud Parenting Moment.)
I sometimes forget to put my phone away, and when I do, that feeling of ‘busyness’ creeps back in.
The over-flowing brain and tension in my gut that stems from the sense that my time is not my own.
And my time is my own.
Like many of you, I’ve created a business where my time IS mine.
I choose the hours I work.
I limit the number of clients I take on.
I don’t schedule long-running programmes that include monthly calls because when I see it mapped out my calendar I lose my sense of freedom and start to feel sick.
And yet still I was filling my days.
Making myself answerable to people who didn’t even expect an answer!
When I tested for the trigger it came up as ‘It’s safe for me to be perfectly happy’.
Apparently I had a limiting belief that it wasn’t.
When I did the Energy Edit, up came the subconscious reasons for why it’s not safe for me to be perfectly happy:
Like… people don’t like perfectly happy people.
And… If you’re perfectly happy it can only go downhill.
That’s what my subconscious had been whispering to me.
So now my phone sits in the drawer until I actively WANT to use it.
For connections that feel harmonious.
At times when it feels good to connect.
Acknowledging that it’s ‘safe for me to be perfectly happy’ and releasing the fear of ‘someone being annoyed’ led me to the third and final hack.
This was a big one for me.
I’d tried it twice before and faltered.
- I handed my email inbox over to a VA.
A virtual assistant.
Which is a terrible name, because ‘virtual’ means ‘sort of’.
And who wants to hand their business to a ‘sort-of’ assistant?
Personally, I want a Definite Assistant.
(I do realise that it’s virtual because they work remotely, don’t worry.)
I couldn’t even imagine how handing over my emails to a VA would work.
So I got on a call and asked really stupid questions and this is what I found out…
(You might already know this, but if you don’t you might find this as GENIUS as I did.)
You set up a new email account and you don’t give the address to anyone apart from your VA.
You give your VA access to your business email account.
Your VA monitors the emails, replies to anything obvious, deals with anything that doesn’t need your input (this grows the longer you work together.)
The emails that DO need your input are forwarded to your secret email address.
You monitor that email address once a day – at the very most.
You hit reply and send your response back to your main email address.
Your VA copies the text over in a reply to the original email and sends it.
So you’re still replying to people personally when they need you to.
But you don’t have to wade through the stuff that needs admin assistance, or receipts that need filing, or any of the other random stuff that lands there.
You don’t have to check emails ‘just in case’ – only to find yourself in the vortex of ‘just quickly’ responding.
Your inbox is the to-do list other people want to give you.
It’s how other people think you should spend your time.
And I’d like to tell you that it’s not just ok for you to choose how you spend your time – it’s not just important.
You get to choose.
That’s the point of creating your own business.
You don’t have a boss.
So don’t let the thousands of clients, connections and customers (real and potential) become thousands of bosses who dictate what you do and when you do it.
Repeat after me:
It is safe for me to be perfectly happy.
Have a brilliant day.
Lots of love
I flew First Class from the UK to the USA.
The cabin was FULL of men.
There were four women in total, including myself.
The other three were travelling with their husbands.
The rest of the First Class passengers were men, travelling alone.
When I realised this, I ran through some emotions.
Where all my sisters at?
(I’d had a couple of cheeky Bucks Fizzes by this point.)
(Ironically, not proud to admit that, but a little part of me went ‘ooh I’m doing something out of the ordinary here, flying alone First Class under my own steam’.)
Seriously. Where all my sisters at?
I didn’t manage to vet the intentions of all the male passengers (that might have looked a bit dodgy).
But I started eavesdropping, engaging in conversation and innocently finding out what they were travelling for.
(Especially easy in the queue for immigration when I got to Atlanta.)
Being sent by their company.
It got me thinking.
Maybe this was a one-off, isolated incident and the First Class cabin is usually full of well-paid, high-flying women being spoilt as they jet off on international business.
Assuming it wasn’t (and I’d love to hear from you if I’m wrong in that assumption) I wondered…
Are male-dominated businesses the ones that operate internationally?
Are jobs that require international travel dominated by men?
Are women travelling for business but flying in a different cabin?
On my connecting flight from Atlanta to Cancun I chatted to a fascinating British chap who lives and works in the US.
I told him what I had seen.
He told me of a statistic that women only apply for a job if they meet 100% of the requirements – whereas men will have a crack at it if even if they only meet 60%.
This Hewlett Packard report found that women didn’t apply for the same reasons as men – but the men who DID apply, despite not meeting the requirements, were aware that other factors would come in to play, and that they were still in with a chance.
Women tend to believe that unless they’re 100% perfect, they don’t have a chance.
Men are way more likely to speak up, talk about their skills and apply for a job, promotion – and probably a coveted foreign assignment too.
There is such an important lesson here.
Wherever you’re at, whatever you do, make sure you push yourself forward.
If you want something, DON’T list the reasons / excuses / arguments why you’re not good enough to do it or unlikely to get it.
Don’t point them out in an application, conversation or interview.
(Clearly, common sense applies here, I’m not suggesting you go all Catch Me If You Can and start pretending to be a doctor.)
Don’t even list them to yourself.
Instead, list the reasons why you’re exactly the right person for the job.
Then throw down your cards, get scrappy and put some effort into getting what you want.
You might meet 77% of the requirements.
You don’t apply because of the missing 23%.
And the prize goes to someone else who DID apply even though they met 64%!
The percentage doesn’t even factor the unlisted, conceptual requirements: personality, professionalism, likeability, relevant experience and commitment.
This also applies if you have your own business.
The client you want to win.
The course you want to create.
Are you waiting to have everything 100% perfect before you step up?
Screw that my friend.
If you want anything – clients, customers, gigs, interviews – ASK!
Make it clear that you are available, interested, eager AND qualified.
Don’t list your flaws, shortcomings and weaknesses.
Focus on your strengths.
Don’t write yourself off before the race even starts.
Do you fear being rejected?
Then look at it this way.
You put yourself forward for something.
You put energy, hope and time into it.
Maybe you don’t get the result that you wanted.
But you gain two vital things…
I guarantee you, everything you did to move yourself forward is a lesson well learned.
You will gain something from it, even if you don’t know what. I wrote about this here.
2. The Unexpected
Every step you take, every door you knock, every connection you make (no this isn’t a song) creates exponential shifts in the world around you – both seen and unseen.
It might be as fast and obvious as someone you spoke to recommending you to someone else.
Sometimes, it might not be fast and obvious.
That doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Every time you move forward, the Universe takes a hundred steps on your behalf.
Dots are joined, plans made possible, paths cleared.
Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
You don’t know what will come from every opportunity you seize to do something different, fun, exciting or challenging.
Don’t decide for someone else that you’re not right for an opportunity.
Show your worth.
And I’ll see you in the First Class cabin.
The Energy Editor
Lately I’ve been asked these questions a lot…
Who writes your copy?
Who plans your launches?
Who did your website?
Who takes your photos?
It’s becoming apparent that those wanting to grow their business are feeling disadvantaged because they don’t have a team behind them.
So today I’m going to lay it all out there.
Let me tell you all about Team Lowbridge…
Who takes your photos?
My husband took my new photos.
It wasn’t even planned.
I’d been filming a video for the Limiting Belief Release technique and walked into our front room.
Pete was taking photos of Jackson.
I smiled and he turned around and took a photo of me.
“Oh babe, that’s lovely. Stay there.”
He took a few more.
“Let’s have a look then.”
I looked… “Bloody hell they do look good, quick take a few more!”
So he did.
I went and got changed twice and at the end of it had the makings of a re-brand.
My fancy photoshoot was me, my hubster and my baby in our sitting room.
Who designed and built your website?
That was the result of some really hot dates.
With my husband.
On the sofa.
With our laptops.
I’ll be honest, I tried outsourcing the website.
It was just never quite what I wanted.
I had a vision for it but I didn’t want to put the hours in myself to get it right.
After my second attempt at having some else do it, I realised I just had to do it myself.
What stressed me about that idea was that it just seemed such a lonely way to spend time.
And I’m not a designer.
Pete has a great eye for these things.
But I knew if I just handed it over to Pete then he could spend hours on it and come back and it still wouldn’t be just what I wanted.
And he’d feel his time had been wasted.
So by sitting down together…
We kept each other company AND I could immediately give my input AND get his advice.
It turned out to be great quality time for us.
Team Lowbridge (that’s me and Pete) created something we’re both really proud of.
I appreciate that you might not have a patient hubby with a good eye for design – so this is the other point I want to make:
My business did NOT start with an awesome website.
I hit six figures before I launched this website.
So if you think your website is holding you back, that’s just a limiting belief!
Who writes your copy?
I really love reading and writing.
And that degree in print journalism is finally coming in handy, 15 years after graduation.
I did lose my voice for a short time though.
Not my actual voice. (Insert your own ‘unlucky for Pete’ joke here.)
During the ‘sales shame’ period when I lost my way, I took advice from other people about writing to sell.
It just didn’t work.
I knew I was back on track when my sweet friend, copywriter Hattie Brazeley replied to one of my newsletters saying:
“Holy cow mama! Don’t ever let anyone get their hands on your copy.”
Lesson: You might hear a lot the advice to use your own voice.
It’s great advice, and here’s what I would add to it:
When you’re writing, think about your actual intention.
Be honest about it.
The energy of your intention is held in your words.
And people can feel it when they read.
A perfect example – I’ve wanted to write a sort-of ‘set the record straight about my non-team’ before.
But it felt a bit ego-centred.
It was purely about me.
So I never wrote it.
But this time it feels different – and here’s why:
My intention right now is to help those who are where I was this time last year and who are freaking out that they can’t make money until they have certain people on their team or hire in certain help.
And I know that for every five people messaging me the questions, there are probably 25 more who’d like to ask but don’t.
The truth is that maybe a team would be nice but it’s not necessary and it’s certainly not a reason to not start making money!
Who plans your launches?
I think this question started to arise last summer when I launched The Prosperity Prescription, and I thanked my friend Amy Birks for her support.
Amy is a business strategist.
So automatically it was assumed that there was a big complicated strategy behind my success.
This was tricky for me, because I didn’t want to play down Amy’s awesomeness, but there also wasn’t some secret formula that I’d been handed or a lot of plotting going on behind the scenes.
The biggest gift Amy gave me was recognising that something I was doing for free could be a product.
When I told her I could do group energy corrections and erase money blocks for a lot of people at once, she uttered the immortal words:
“Well that’s a fricking product right there.”
And then she gave me this plan:
“Ok you’re going to collect email addresses for the next 48 hours. Then you’re going to send three emails, one telling them about you and what you do, one telling them what kinesiology is, one telling them about the group. You’ll send them Saturday, Sunday and Monday and on Monday you launch.”
“Um, shouldn’t this be done over a couple of weeks?”
“No way! These are hot leads! Do it now!”
And then she spent the next two weeks sharing the joy and excitement as everything fell into place.
The rest of the ‘strategy’ just wasn’t planned.
The emails included a slideshow and a video because that was a hard-won skill I was determined to use.
There wasn’t some big secret formula.
It was one of those times when everything just lines up.
I was constantly hit with new ideas and actions that just seemed to come out of nowhere.
I can only describe it as spending two weeks being totally in the flow.
A few months later I tried to recreate the success of that launch and failed.
I tried a ‘strategy’, a ‘plan’ and being told what to do and when – and it was a disaster.
Right now I’m launching my new course, Be Your Own Energy Editor.
Not even ‘three emails and a sales video’.
Just an idea, a sales page, good intentions and a lot of fun.
Only taking action on my own ideas.
Back in the flow, enjoying every second and doing only what feels right.
This morning I hit 116 sales.
I’d told my Prosperity Prescription family that my target was 100 and that I felt a bit vulnerable after the last failure.
When I told them I’d reached my goal, the lovely, and very wise, Suzy Ashworth said: “Here’s to public declarations from a place of alignment.”
She nailed it.
That’s the perfect word to describe what happened last summer and what just happened again this week.
Being in alignment.
When you have that, the only team you truly need is made of:
You – being honest with yourself.
And good friends – who truly want to share your joy.
I hope you have both of those.
With huge love and encouragement,
The Energy Editor
PS – You can still join my live classroom for Be Your Own Energy Editor! Come and get the details here.
Have you heard of Happiness For Mums, the online course?
That’s not surprising.
It was a belly-flop into the pool of online business.
This time last year I spent an average of 12 hours a day at my computer.
I was determined.
Driving forward with intense purpose.
In completely the wrong direction.
Let me explain.
In June 2013 I left the green hills of The Shire to visit the rocky mountains of Colorado.
I went to an event hosted by Mike ‘Notes from The Universe’ Dooley and became an Infinite Possibilities certified trainer.
It was amazing, life-changing and despite having gone there just because I wanted to, I decided within the first few hours that I was going to teach the programme when I got back home.
Within a week of returning I’d booked a venue for my IP class, had 25 ladies (and a brave man) signed up and couldn’t believe how much I loved teaching.
Over the next few months I taught more than 500 student hours, and gradually the programme morphed into my own version of IP.
My ‘students’ were mostly mums, and I identified with their hopes, dreams and frustrations.
Or rather, I identified with their complete shock that they were allowed to have hopes, dreams and frustrations.
I lost myself completely after having my second baby, setting me on a long journey of discovery, investigation and a search for answers to some fundamental questions.
Like – if I have everything I’m ‘meant’ to have (husband, lovely children, nice home, my own business) why am I still so sad?
What am I missing?
I studied evolution, religion, quantum physics, mankind, energy, happiness…
And gradually began to piece together my own idea of a life well lived.
And there I stood, years later, pregnant with my third child, and able to share these ideas with other mums in my Happiness For Mums classes.
It felt really good.
The awesome women who attended went to achieve all sorts of exciting things… including starting a charity and publishing a book.
And because I was planning maternity leave, I thought it would be a perfect idea to turn Happiness for Mums into an online course.
So I did.
I spent hundreds of hours creating slideshows with slides and graphics animated to my voice-over.
I made videos for each module.
Lavished hours upon hours perfecting PDFs and making them fillable.
At each stage I had to learn everything from scratch.
Setting the entire thing up in one course-hosting platform.
Then realising it didn’t have the functionality I required and moving it somewhere else.
Creating an affiliate programme, a sales page, a website.
Collecting and collating testimonials.
I got it done a few weeks before my baby was due and it felt fantastic.
My original plan had been to get the course built whilst pregnant, then wait.
Have the baby, then when I was ready to start doing a bit of work, spend the next year doing the marketing before finally launching it and making my fortune.
But when it was all done, and sitting there, and I was so happy with it, it seemed silly not to launch it.
So I did.
I posted about it on my facebook page.
And my personal profile.
I posted about it in a couple of groups I was in.
I sent an email out to my mailing list.
I repeated the above.
I ran a competition to give away three free places.
I got five entries.
I was so confused.
I’d read enough Launch Success Stories – why wasn’t it happening for me?
I offered a 75% discount to a few people.
I got two sales.
(That was actually really exciting.)
Looking back I can see clearly where I went wrong – and what I did exactly right.
So I thought you might like to know.
Failure to Launch, Mistake Number One.
I did no real market research.
Asking the people who had taken the class would they be interested in an online version and them politely saying ‘yes of course’ was not market research.
Confidently telling people what I was doing and them buzzing off my enthusiasm was not market research.
Friends and family being so lovely that they always believe in me was not market research.
I WANTED to create the course.
It ‘made sense’ for me personally to create an online version, so I just decided that there ‘had’ to be a market for it.
Lesson Learned – do PROPER market research.
Make sure there is an actual demand.
Don’t just hope / assume / guess that there is.
Especially if you’re going to spend 12 hours a day, most days for 5 months creating it.
And it’s possible that there is a demand, somewhere, for Happiness for Mums, the online course.
But I certainly wasn’t tapped into it.
Which leads me to Failure to Launch, Mistake Number Two.
I wasn’t wired into a network of mums that wanted a Happiness course.
I don’t identify myself as a mum first and foremost.
I don’t hang out online in groups specifically aimed at mums.
I did in the past.
I have some amazing friends all over the world who I only know because we were part of a sanity-saving mum’s forum when I had my first daughter 10 years ago.
Maybe if I’d stayed in that network as a mentor like the more experienced mums were to me when I was a rookie, then I would have been in the right place.
But I didn’t.
So instead I found myself at a loss.
I didn’t want to fake fitting in just to sell something.
So I didn’t have a network of lovely people on my wavelength to share with.
If you want a visual representation of how this looks in terms of a launch:
Go to your front door.
Open the door.
Shout “Happiness for Mums!”
Close the door and wait for the sale.
Do not hold your breath whilst waiting.
Lesson Learned – Genuinely WANT to hang out with your ideal customers and be an active member of their online life.
If you’re building a course about organic food but you’d rather be chatting about poodles, it’s a hint you’re on the wrong track.
Also remember – you don’t have to build a course!
Failure to Launch Mistake Number Three
Your first product launch is not the time to Go Big or Go Home.
You don’t have to pour your entire 35 years of experiences into one idea.
As we say in the Shire: “Take it steady.”
Think about the people you are naturally drawn to, who you like to spend time with, and what they need.
Is it something you can provide?
Write a blog post.
Make one PDF.
Record a video.
Just do something, create something and put it out into the world, then you can gauge the reaction, see what there is demand for and then take more action.
Lesson Learned – Don’t wait for perfect.
You can travel a long way taking baby steps – and it’s a lot easier to stay on the right track if you check your direction occasionally.
Failure to Launch Mistake Four
Thinking of anything as a failure.
Nothing you do is wasted.
Never – ever – waste a second on thinking you failed.
My super-smart friend Jonathan Benjamin sums this up perfectly:
“You either win or you learn. Either way you win.”
All those months at my desk last year were spent learning.
The success I’m having now can be traced back to that ‘failure’ to launch experience.
A few month later, I wanted to create The Prosperity Prescription and I needed to act fast.
We’re talking 72 hours for an entire product launch – and guess what?
I knew how to set up a membership site.
I had everything set up to take payments.
I knew my way around mailing lists.
I knew how to create a cool slideshow.
I could use iMovie and edit a video.
There were so many skills from the previous months that came into play.
And not only that.
The launch was based around kinesiology skills that I had given up on monetising until a few weeks before when I had discovered a way to erase money blocks.
I wanted to write my own copy – and that (long-forgotten) degree in Print Journalism suddenly came in really handy.
I wasn’t terrified by posting a video of myself online because I’d forced myself to film one in a ‘failed’ attempt at a B-School scholarship.
And I was connected to an amazing group of people because I was having fun getting to know them online and we naturally had shared interests.
Suddenly everything made sense.
All those steps that I’d somehow felt guided to take last year, were hugely important.
Without those skills I doubt I would have made $45,267 in two weeks.
Lesson Learned – Just keep taking intuitive action, because you don’t actually know how amazing things have the potential to be.
Keep showing up.
Every day, do something towards your goals.
Because you cannot actually fail.
Get some advice from people you trust.
Listen to those who have gone before you.
But also, follow your inner guidance.
Because if something is telling you to stay up until 3am, editing slideshows with a numb arse from your office chair, who knows what’s in store for you?
It might be a skill that will contribute to you launching a six-figure business a few months from now.
You know better than anyone what’s the right thing for you to do next.
Listen to your instincts.
Because when you get to where you’re heading, and the pieces fall into place around you, the random stuff you’re doing right now will ALL make sense.
With love, as always,
PS – I’d love to help make your business dreams come true. Shall we?
This time last year I charged about $50 an hour for one-to-one client work.
I had a few clients.
It was not a great business model.
I studied online business for months.
Then I changed my energy around money.
And in a crazy spin of events I made over $45,000 in two weeks.
These days I only work one-to-one in my $5000 VIP programme.
I know so agonisingly well how it feels to be in business limbo.
You just want to make money doing something you love.
But you can’t figure out what that is or how to make it happen.
So I thought I’d help erase the myths that are stopping you from making money.
You know, these ones…
I don’t have a perfect website.
I don’t have anything people will buy from me.
I don’t know how to promote myself.
Here we go.
- I don’t have a (perfect) website.
You don’t need a website.
You certainly don’t need a perfect website.
When I made that $45,000 in two weeks I just used Simplero and Leadpages.
Leadpages is a website that hosts sales pages, opt-in pages, and all sorts of groovy stuff.
The templates are all set up, you just edit the tex and add in your own content.
It’s quick, easy to use and you can get an account for about $40 per month.
With Simplero you can do everything – from create a membership site or host an online course, or sell your digital products.
Last year I suddenly found myself in demand for one-to-one energy work to smash money blocks – I spent five minutes in Simplero and I was ready to take payments.
For the big launch, a Leadpages sales page linked to a Simplero payment page (hooked up to paypal) and I was done.
I bypassed my website completely.
- I don’t have anything people would buy from me.
Quite frankly my dear, this is bollocks.
We ALL have a monetizable skill. (Monetizable may not be a word.)
I guarantee you, there is a subject that you’re an expert in.
You have knowledge about something that is GOLD to someone else.
Do you keep any sort of notebooks, or write down goals, or ideas?
Have a look through them.
I recently did this and was amazed – the amount of times I’d written down ‘combine law of attraction knowledge with energy work’ over the last few years is astounding.
On some level I knew this was my zone of genius… I just took some time to realise it.
What’s that one idea that you have tucked away, that thing you always come back to?
What’s stopping you from putting it out there?
I’d guess it’s one of two things:
a.) You’re waiting for it to be perfect.
b.) You’re scared that if you put it out there in a small way someone will steal the idea.
Let’s break this down.
a.) Perfectionism keeps you small.
It holds you back.
It’s your enemy.
You can spend months perfecting something and nobody buys it.
(Been there, done that, blog post to follow.)
Honestly, you can’t afford to be a perfectionist.
Just take action.
Staying still stinks. Literally.
Have you been near stagnant water?
Humans are the same.
Stay still, you stagnate.
Just do something, as well as you can, as quickly as you can.
b.) Fear of being copied will cripple you.
There may well be someone that tries to rip you off or imitate you.
There might be people who take your ideas and use them for their own gain.
Often, on an energetic level, they are held back because the soul knows when you’re not playing fair.
Imitating might give them a boost, a push forward, but the Big U knows what’s going on – and it always sorts the wheat from the chaff in the end.
This might be something you have to deal with, or have your lawyers deal with.
But guess what?
It’s not a reason not to do something!
If you don’t put your ideas out there, someone else will anyway, because all ideas are held in the quantum field.
If you get a download or flash of inspiration, and you don’t take action, someone else will.
And – most importantly – there is an audience that only wants to hear what YOU have to say on the subject.
Tom, Dick or even Prince Harry could be saying the same thing, and YOUR audience wouldn’t listen.
They are waiting for you.
So crack on with it.
- I don’t know how to promote myself.
Oh I know that feeling!
If I was slightly more street, I’d say something like ‘I feel you sister’ and double high-five you.
I think there are two sides you need to tackle this from.
One is the inner work – get in touch with what’s holding you back and smash the hell out of it.
Or gently release it, whichever appeals more.
Personally, I don’t mess around, I like to GSD. (Get Shit Done). (Please don’t my husband I just used that abbreviation, he will cringe himself out of existence.)
And the other is the outer work – getting some good advice and then taking some serious action.
You don’t know what you can do until you do it!
You have to polish both sides of the coin.
If you’re feeling paralysed because your self-worth is cripplingly low, get some help, so you can start to see how awesome you are.
There’s a lot of talk about ‘be yourself’ ‘ you’re the brand’ – but if you’re not feeling very chipper it can hard to even know exactly who that is.
A few years ago I was really struggling with a lot of things.
I had totally lost sight of myself.
Then my marriage ended.
I joined a netball team.
I made a conscious decision before I walked in the door for the first time, that I would be me.
But I didn’t really feel like I knew who I was.
This is how I did it:
I realised that of the people I spent time with, I was most happy and relaxed around my brother.
When we’re together, we get more and more alike, and it’s hilarious. (Well, our parents think so, it’s probably not that funny.)
And my brother is a really likeable, funny, friendly, popular guy.
So I thought, if I’m like him, and he’s likeable, then maybe I can just go in there and be myself, and people will like me too.
(Writing that just made me cry.)
I silently vowed to myself that I would go in there and just be me.
The ‘me’ that my brother knows, the relaxed me who laughs at pretty much everything, including myself, and isn’t apologetic for what I think or feel.
I decided to forget about all the baggage I lugged around, forget about over-thinking everything and worrying and fearing and wondering how best to get people to like me, because I felt so desperately unlikeable.
I said to myself, and I can remember it vividly:
“I’ll go in there and be myself, and if they don’t like me then I’ll accept that, and if they do, it’s going to make life so much easier.”
Friends for life.
In fact, those netballers changed my life.
They accepted me.
They liked me.
I loved them.
They’re some of my closest friends, who’ve taught me so much about what friendship means, and I admire each and every one of them for so many reasons.
So if you’re wondering who you really are, think about this:
Who are you most happy around?
This isn’t necessarily who gives you a rush of adrenaline, who makes you tick, who keeps you on your toes – because that’s more likely to be someone you’re slightly tense around.
Who just gets it?
Who do you really relax around?
The ‘you’ that shows up for that person is the real you.
And guess what?
You’re pretty fecking brilliant, inside and out.
That ‘you’ can show up anywhere, and be good enough for anything you want to do.
How do you promote yourself?
And by that I mean actually DO something.
We both know that planning and researching can easily turn into 8 hours down the Google-hole.
We try and convince ourselves that it’s ‘taking action’ but we both know that’s bollocks.
Here’s a simple rule for you:
Action is not passive.
Keep that in mind as you choose where to put your time.
So there we go.
No more excuses.
No promotion abilities?
Relax. YOU are a gem just waiting to shine.
Lots and LOTS of love
Pete’s first day as a house-husband.
Neither of us could quite believe it.
He took the girls to school and came back with a massive grin on his face: “I think it’s sinking in now.”
“Ooh why? Does it feel good?”
“It feels incredible.
We passed some kids, and one of them said ‘I’ve got you for two lessons this morning Sir.’ And I said ‘No you haven’t!’
And it hit me, I really was just coming home.”
And he just looked at me and smiled.
I had a good happy-cry at that.
I’ve never seen him so happy, so relaxed and so content.
We’ve all begun to realise just how stressed he was.
I explain to my clients that subconscious stress is like a computer running a programme in the background.
It takes up memory and capacity, and prevents you from operating at full speed.
That’s how Pete felt all the time.
He was constantly running a programme called I HAVE A STRESSFUL JOB in the back of his mind.
And now we’ve hit Force Shutdown on it.
He’s like a different person.
His tolerance levels are sky-high, he’s constantly joking around and he’s actually present with us when he’s here.
It’s a beautiful thing to witness.
The burning question seems to be ‘How’s Pete getting on at home?’.
And here’s why…
Early last year I was trying to move my two businesses forward and struggling to gain traction.
Soul-searching to find why, I asked myself:
“What’s holding you back?”
“Working from home and feeling responsible for every aspect of family life.”
On a normal day I dropped the kids at school, came home, and did all the jobs waiting for me. By the time I sat down to do any work the day was half gone, I was fed up and frustrated and had lost my motivation for doing any work on my business.
Things came to a head one Sunday.
Pete and the girls were having a fab time, laughing and playing together. Meanwhile, I was organising dinner, school uniforms, PE Kits, lunches, swimming bags, and planning for the weeks activities, clubs, playdates and meals. Again.
I thought ‘Bollocks to this’.
I was fed up of being the only one who had to think about all this stuff.
Then I made a decision. (After a good cry, obviously.)
I was going on strike.
I typed a “Guide to Being Me”, which detailed every job I did around the house, and when it was done. I didn’t want to spend my strike answering questions about the washing machine.
I included the things that take up brain-space – days, times and kit lists for the girls’ activities. How to do the online grocery order, ideas for meals, snacks and lunches.
I also stressed the need to check in on everyone – is everyone happy, have the girls got play dates arranged, what are we doing for family fun?
The Guide To Being Me was five pages. In a small font.
I went to Pete and told him I was going on strike.
He said “But you know I’ll always help you, you only have to ask.”
“But I don’t want help. Because having help means I still have to do all the thinking and organising – and that’s as time-consuming and stressful as all the practical stuff. I want you to know what has to be done without being asked. And I think the only way you’ll really know is if you do it all for a couple of weeks without me being involved.”
The idea didn’t go down that brilliantly to start with to be honest.
So I explained – this is a problem for lots of women.
Past generations fought to give us the right to work, but without enough support at home it’s like having two full-time jobs.
I told him that lots of women struggle with this but maybe we could find a solution.
And that if we worked as a team it would allow me to build my business – and that one day I hoped to make enough money for him to quit his job.
So I went on strike. At home.
And fair play to Pete, he took the challenge and he kicked ass.
I was able to fully focus on my work. It felt amazing. And fulfilling!
And Pete finally understood why sometimes I got a little bit stressed by the housework. He fully appreciated how much I was doing that previously went un-noticed.
At the end of the two weeks, we were able to divide all the responsibilities and chores up between us.
Pete continued with his share, without me having to do all the thinking and organising.
We began to thank each other for taking care of things, because we each knew the work involved.
And I was able to keep focussing – working, learning and growing – without the constant and never-ending distractions of being solely responsible for an entire home and family.
I know striking might seem a bit extreme.
But it worked.
That extra time and focus on my business was one of the things which led to me having all the skills I needed when things went crazy in August.
It’s certainly made our transition to hubby-at-home really easy so far.
All this, just because I asked myself:
“What’s holding you back?”
Now I’m not suggesting you immediately go on strike – but, if you’re running a business (or you’d like to) and you also do everything at home – it’s definitely a conversation worth having.
What I really recommend though, is asking:
“What’s holding you back?”
Let me know!
Lots of love
The Energy Editor